Sunday, August 26, 2012

31 in 31 mediation intro #13


Mediation Intro

In addition to starting my dog massage venture last January, I have also begun my “second leg” of my three-legged stool, It is a mediation and consulting venture called “Transitions and Transformations. I have chosen this name because it truly captures what I care about, the transitions and transformations that all beings go through. It is often at the transition points that there is great challenge, often suffering and most important a possibility, an openness that sometimes becomes available. I have seen so many times in myself and others and it never fails to move me deeply. My understanding of mediation is that it is a process that invites the participants who are usually in some type of fixed position conflict to get a new perspective, at least for a moment if not permanently. And that perspective is that the other person may have a valid point of view which is not the same as mine which is also a valid point of view. To be able to hold two (or more points of view) at the same time and embrace them both as valid and acceptable is, in itself a step towards maturity and transformation. What is particularly interesting about the mediation model is that is the parties themselves who make the decisions both as to process as well as to substance. This is very different from the court model where the process is already set and it is the judge who makes the final decision. Just this one difference is significant in terms of empowering the participants that they can actually solve their own issues especially if there is going to be an on-going relationship. Another important facet of mediation is that it is voluntary. Both sides need to agree to try it and both sides have to option to leave whenever they wish. In one sense, this makes it challenging because a party can simply quit the process midstream. However, if both parties can get through the challenges, the result will be far more permanent and satisfying.

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